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reminder to self... [20 Jul 2005|12:44pm]
move out inspection

july 25th at 2:00
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> [20 Jul 2005|12:39pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

i've come to the conclusion that the world is against me... get this... i threw my keys in the dumpster... ((i had put then in a food lion bag and accidently threw it away and took that trash bag and put it in the dumpster)) so i'm out a set of keys... i call the office place and they tell me not to worry about it, they'd just make new copies... fine and dandy. then i get a call from john ((him and his brother were supposed to be on their way over to help my get my hope chest from here to the new appartment, and to give me john's copy of the car key)) and the truck has a flat tire that they don't know if they'll be able to fix. talk about rotten luck. now i can't go anywhere... john can't get to me to give me a key cause we share my car... and sara's car is in a coma... and i'm sure their mom is at the school working on her classroom... so everyone is stranded and i'm wanting to go jump off a bridge for being so fucking stupid.

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my sad luck [18 Jul 2005|10:39pm]
[ mood | sore ]

get this... i get in my room and put my clothes down. then i turn around to clothes the door and on the way back into my room i trip over a wire. well i caught myself from that just to take another step and twist my ankle... i have no idea how that happened. there wasn't any thing to step on or anything. anyhow i went to the floor like a sac of bricks and smacked my head on the floor too. and now i have ice on my ankle... this better not hurt in the morning. got too much going on. i mean i AM getting married next week... *glares at ankle*

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T_T [18 Jul 2005|12:20am]
[ mood | depressed ]

what's wrong w/ me?
why won't he talk to me like he used to?
i hate myself...
i'm useless and insignificant
i should crawl into a hole and disappear
wouldn't matter if i did

((no it's not a poem... just random fucked up thoughts))

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two weeks and counting [16 Jul 2005|02:53pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

only two weeks till the wedding. i'm so nervous. we've found a place to live, that's only about a mile from where i live now. and we only have to pay $400 a month, utilities, ((satillite and digital phone)) included. i'm gonna start moving out of here by wednesday next week. and i'm hoping to be completely out by friday. ((meghan is supposed to be staying w/ me that night)) yeah, i'm really nervous about everything. what if i fall down going down the isle? what if something messes up??? so nervous...

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oh! i forgot! [12 Jul 2005|11:35am]
[ mood | energetic ]

i forgot to write about the bachloret party sara and nicole are planning for me. we're going to spend the night in a hotel room. ((maybe, if i'm living at the hamilton's then we can do it there)) and we're gonna play drinking games... totally awesome!

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i suppose i should actually update. seeing as how it's been a while. [12 Jul 2005|11:34am]
[ mood | excited ]

well all is hunky dory in my life... well not really.  i'm stressed out still with the whole wedding coming up, and the fact that my dad is so upset about the 'copter that got shot down in iraq.  8 of the guys that were killed were Night Stalkers, ((the unit my dad just retired from)) and 7 he knew and fought w/ personally.  so yeah, he's a bit upset about it.  while i was home he kept saying that every time he got still all he could think about was the fact that 7 of his comrads are now dead.  i can't blame him for being upset though.  they were his friends, and as much as i may sympothize, i've NEVER lost 7 friends in one day. 

while i was home in NC i came down w/ a nasty illness... actually i think it started like the day before i left.  my throat was hurting that day anyway.  anyhow my head was stopped up, my throat and ears both hurt excrutiatingly bad but i refused to go to the doctor up there cause it would have cost my mom some $200 to take me ((i'm not covered by my insurance up there)) and i decided to wait till i got back to savannah to go to the doctor.  so, i went yesterday ((i'd been feeling a good bit better since sunday morning mind you)) and found out i have a severe case of strep throat, and two very infected ears. the doctor put me on amoxicilin and i got a shot to boost it.  not biggie right?  but get this, i'm taking two 1000mg tablets twice a day... that's 4000mg of amoxicilin a day... fun fun... and the pills are freaking huge... and it doesn't help that my throat is swollen... tis hard as i don't know what to swallow those damned things.

i got my wedding dress when i was up in NC too. it's so beautiful.  i didn't enjoy the whole trying it on thing though, considering i'd taken 6 tylenol sinus alergy pills through out the day and had yet to eat anything.  i almost threw up wearing my dress.  i was like... ok... i HAVE to get out of this!! didn't help that it was really hot in the place and my dress weighs like 10 lbs.  anyhow, i mangaged not to puke and my dress isn't ruined... thank god. anyhow i can't wait to wear it! only... um... 18 more days!! god i'm so excited. 

i also got a lot of beautiful lingerie while i was up there, but i'm not gonna go into all that, considering i'm sure many don't want to know.  but i will tell you about the BEAUTIFUL long night gown my grama got for me.  it's purple silk and it comes all the way to my ankles.  and it's strappy and just BEAUTIFUL!!

john and i are now pretty sure we're gonna be living at the Hamilton's.  we're going tomorrow to look at the appartment and to talk to them about letting us live there despite john not being able to go back to school till spring.  i don't think we're gonna be living there too long though... my parent's are looking into finding us a trailor in this really nice neighbor hood up in NC where the rent is only $400 a month and that accounts for utilities, and they take care of the yard and everything for you.  so yeah, i have my  hopes up for living there in a month or two... but only God knows, so... yeah.  either way i have to be out of my appartment completely by noon on the 25th. so... i have to find some where for my stuff... it's really not that much... and i could get rid of a lot.  the main things are my hope chest ((which was my great grandma's and i'm not getting rid of it for ANYTHING!!!)) my T.V., my computer, ((which john and i will need)) and my clothes.  the rest isn't such a must have.  it would be nice to keep all of my electronics though, my vcr, dvd player, game cube... that kinda stuff... but if we don't have room for it then we don't have room for it.  so yeah... we'll see...

i've finally got dates for the other two showers that are being thrown for me, the church shower is the 21st and the pottery shower john's mom is throwing me is the 23rd... i'm hoping if we decide to move into the hamilton's i can go ahead and get my stuff there... since the showers are so close to my "must be out" date.

ok, that's about it for my mad rambling... man i write alot when i don't post in a while...


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stolt it [20 Jun 2005|08:49pm]
[ mood | content ]

01. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie/icon reminds me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.

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yeay [02 Jun 2005|07:30am]
[ mood | stressed ]

i figured out how to get out of this hell hole of an appartment by the end of the month. alyssa wants my room cause the internet doesn't work in hers. so, she's gonna take over my lease. a friend of theirs wants to move into alyssa's room, so that friend is taking over alyssa's lease. this is a majorly good thing considering the people i live with drive me nuts and if it had been the other way around, john and i would have been paying an entire months rent to live in the appartment for about 5 days. so, john's going appartment hunting today. i have to admit i'm frazzled about everything still... i've got so much on my mind ALL the time that i can't even sleep at night... got another 1.5 hours of sleep last night... >

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:( [10 May 2005|07:18am]
[ mood | hungry ]

my shoulder hurts again! :(:(:(

and i'm hungry...

*wonders off to get something to eat*

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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! [08 May 2005|08:43am]
[ mood | awake ]

happy mother's day to all you mothers that read this.

not much to say right now...

giz and louie are getting along a wee bit better...

mom's going to church w/ her mom *gasp*

we have to go get kfc for lunch today

purple monkies stole your underwear...

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moo [07 May 2005|02:28pm]
[ mood | content ]

well i've been home for a little over 24 hours. no one has managed to make me hate myself yet. lol makes me wonder if maybe they've learned to be nicer. today we went to lowes to get my mom something, wal*mart to get some frames and something to tie louie up outside with,then we went to eckards so mom could print a couple things for me.

i decided to give my mom some prints to go with her mother's day stuff... i even framed them for her. she said i had a gift. i feel special. i also framed a couple of prints to give to my grandparents. i hope they like them, i had mom print them and they came out kinda scratchy, makes me wish i could have done them in the dark room, but eh.

we all had subway for lunch... yummy...

......chicken pot chicken pot chicken pot PIE!!!.....

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ok [02 May 2005|12:11am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

so, there's only a few days left of this semester... yeay... i've still got a few things i need to get done. i need to dry mount my final 8 photos for my photography class, and prepare my essays for the WMST final on wednesday. ((i really wish she hadn't moved it from friday...))

got fired on friday... not that i care anymore... the man i worked for was a perv and his daughter thought my life should revolve around making subs... right... all i did was MENTION that i was looking for another job and she fired me... it'd be nice to have a job, considering john and i are about to get married... and now neither one of us has a job... T_T it'll all work out though... God never gives us more then we can handle....

anyhow i'm tired... so it's off to bed...

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bah [27 Apr 2005|05:24pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

today has been an odd day for me. i'm really depressed. i woke up feeling depressed and during bsu today i started thinking, which is never a good thing when it comes to me. i realized that i've been SO excited about getting all my wedding stuff done, but the ONE person i really wanted to be here, that i was absolutely CONVINCED was gonna be around for it is gone... i miss my papaw so much. i think i'm gonna go to his grave when i go home. i'm gonna get my mom to give me directions and go see him. get some red silk tulips ((his favorite flower was a red tulip, and talk to him for a while. i know it sounds foolish, but i think it might help. i might even print out a pic of me in the wedding dress and put it on the grave. *sigh*

i'm really tired all of the sudden, RIGHT before class. i wanna go to sleep! i'm hoping i can get out of class early, cause i finished my graphic design project already. i just have to print it out, and i think i'm gonna do that at john's house.

well i'm hoping to get a job at the library. ((larry's is gonna be the death of me if i don't get out of there)) and john is trying to get a summer job at the YMCA. sounds like the perfect job for him. he'll be outside alot and be around kids. he's so great with kids. he'll make an excellent father one day. i guess i'm pretty lucky. i'd try to get a job with him, but i have day time classes, and that's a 9-4 job. bah. my classes are from 8-1210.

wow you can tell it's been a while since i've written...

i'm going home the week after next to get my wedding dress. i'm going with my mom, granny, and aunt. i can't wait, i know i'm gonna cry like a baby when i'm trying on dresses. mom says my granny is determined to throw me a shower whether i'm there or not. she said if i can't get up to NC for it, she'll take a video of it, let my mom open the presents so i know what i get, and mail me the tape. but i plan on making it home. even if i have to quit my job.

well i've got to go to the hell that is class... bai bai

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lol [10 Mar 2005|02:02pm]

Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

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o.O [19 Feb 2005|09:54pm]
[ mood | scared ]

i had the freakest nightmares last night. i don't remember every detail, but one part that stands out is that i'm staring into this guy's eyes who i know is a murderer, and he's some how got power over me and is like... hypmotizing me to make me sleep w/ him. then the scene cut and i was some one else buying a soda from a soda machine at a motel and when i try to go back to the room i see myself being toted out on a gurney, dead, and bleeding from between my legs. i ask some one what happened to the girl on the gurney and they told me she had been raped w/ a knife of some sort. that's where i woke up. ((not that i didn't fall asleep again and end up right back in these freakish nightmares))

anyhow, the guy's eyes keep flashing through my mind, and i don't want to go to bed for fear of having this dream again... i really don't know what to do.

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bleh [08 Feb 2005|11:03am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

everything hurts, i'm both physically and mentally exhausted, and i just don't get to stop... i'm gonna have a nervous break down... i've worked the last 16+ days straight... ((i've actualy lost count)) and i still don't get a day off... not really... i have saturday and sunday off from work, but i'm going to be in nc... and that can be just as exhausting as being at work... i need a vacation, i need a MAJOR vacation... i need to just hide away from the world for a week or 10 ((lol)) i would love to hide away and have nothing to worry about, not that that't gonna happen, not w/ a wedding, and moving out, and all that other stuff... hell, i don't even feel relaxed in my own appartment anymore... not after some one came and stole literally every PENNY from my room... they even emptied my frikin CHANGE JAR.... gr! i mean seriously... i wish i knew who stole it too... i feel like i can't trust anyone now...

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[07 Feb 2005|04:56pm]
i'm about ready to give up completely.........
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i think i'm cursed [04 Feb 2005|09:36am]
[ mood | stressed ]

nothing ever wants to just be easy for me. i can't get married any earlier because for some half witted reason my lease doesn't expire till july 25 instead of june 1... pisses me off... why a year and 2 months i don't really know. i can't go home this weekend cause my great aunt shirley is getting married and she really wants me to come to her wedding... that's fine, i'm happy for her, but that now means i'm gonna have to work all weekend, and all week next week... i never get a day off... i'm always running around like a chicken w/ my head cut off... every frikin day... and then just now i call and make me a doctors apointment, for all the female stuff ya know, and turns out the place that my last hospital, tuttle, sent me to, doesn't take my insurance, so now i have to go by tuttle and see what the 'ell is going on... and i'm gonna run out of birth control before i ever get an apointment. *angst* why can't life be just a LITTLE easier on me.........

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ZzZzZzZzZ [31 Jan 2005|10:38am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

someone go make subs for me so i can sleep....


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